Sometimes the best way to hold onto something is to let it go...
One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn on this journey called “life”, has been acceptance. I am cursed with a controlling nature and my stubbornness backs it up. When adversities attack, my first reaction is to “fix” things. I would rather try everything on God’s green earth before I give up in defeat. Can you relate?
The last few years, the road’s been long and agonizingly stressful. I reached a point, where I was just too tired and consumed by pain to keep fighting. I came face to face with the realization that there were some things and some relationships I just couldn’t fix. It was a tough lesson to learn, but I finally had to deal with the fact that, if change was going to come, it would be in God’s time and within his plan.
In addition to losing my will to continue down this painful path, I had lost hope. Hope for a renewed relationship; hope for my affection to be returned; hope for life to return to how it used to be. The stress had taken its toll on my body mentally and physically. I had been dealt a hand that I didn’t know how to play and I was losing the game. I knew it was time for change and the only one I could change was me.
There is a peace in handing impossible circumstances over to God and a renewed hope that change will come. There is also a true freedom in moving on with your life and letting go of circumstances that are way too monumental to deal with. You’re no longer crippled by the binding chains of their control.
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. I Peter 5:7
Each morning, I find myself needing to lay my burdens at God’s feet and take one day at a time. I celebrate the small victories and try to keep a positive attitude. I have discovered that praying for others before myself, keeps me from spiraling into a cesspool of self-pity. Having a genuine compassion for others and their needs is far more rewarding than spending your time in a total frenzy trying to fix circumstances beyond your control.
I wish I could say that it’s always easy, but many days are a struggle. I’m tempted to grab my worries back and go to fixing them again. But God gently reminds me that I have better things to do; that He’s got everything under control. And for that, I am forever thankful, for I have found PEACE.
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~ Author unknown, variation of an excerpt from "The Serenity Prayer" by Reinhold Neibuhr